How perverted can 'Yuu' get?
by bookman-junior
Summary: Let's see how perverted Kanda Yuu really is. Who knows? You might also find out how perverted you are. Rated to be safe. Allen and Lavi are in the story, too.


**Warnings:** Some **things** are impled.

**Greetings (?):** I've actually posted this fic at LJ a _long_ time ago but just had the time now to post it here. Hope you enjoy!

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It was just another normal day at the Black Order and everyone was going on with their respective lives. Kanda Yuu was just walking down the halls, on his way to his room to rest for a little while since he only came back from a mission an hour or so ago. But as he passed a certain Bookman-in-training's room, he heard a voice…

"Ah!"

"Stop squirming, Lavi!"

…make that two. Kanda wasn't one to mind people's businesses, yet he couldn't resist the urge to stop and listen in order to find out what the other two were doing.

"I can't help it! It hurts!"

"Stop whining. You'll get used to it."

"It still feels weird to do this, though. Since, you should normally do this with girls…"

"I don't think it's that weird."

"Well, that's because you're not the one in my position, Allen Walker."

'_What are those two doing?' _The swordsman mentally asked himself.

"Fine, you could do it to me next time."

"That's okay, then. But…y'know, Allen, I think I respect girls more now. "

"Hm? Why is that?"

"I mean they can endure doing this. I mean, almost all of them does this, yeah?"

"I guess you're right. Even Lenalee does it."

'_Lenalee?! Are those idiots seriously-?' _Kanda was starting to imagine what Allen and Lavi were currently doing behind that door, and those weren't pure thoughts.

"Ow! Ahh…Can't you be gentler, Allen?"

"Sorry, I can't do that."

"Ah! Why not?"

"Come on, Lavi. Do you think what I'm doing is easy?"

"…no."

"Then just keep quiet."

'_Th-They can't possibly be doing 'that'…right?'_ The ebony-haired teen furrowed his eyebrows in deep thought. His grip on Mugen unconsciously tightened.

"Oww!!! I change my mind! I don't want to do this any more!"

"But we've already gone this far. We can't stop now!"

"I don't care! It hurts too much! Just remove it!"

'_Remove…'it'? What's 'it'?' _Kanda tried to stop himself from thinking that _it_ was that particular part of his body, but it was useless.

"No way. Not when we're this close to finishing."

"But you're doing it too harshly!"

"I said that you'll get used to it, didn't I? And besides, I did tell you that it might hurt a little."

"You call _this_ a little?! The way you're doing it is too painful."

"That's because it's your first time."

"It's not. I used to do it to myself and it didn't hurt at all."

"Lavi, the way you do it and the way I'm doing it right now is completely different."

"How so?"

"First, I'm the one who's doing it. Second, the way I do it is more intricate than the way you do it, I'm sure. Third, I have more experience than you."

"Experience?"

"Yes. That's what you get when you train under Cross Marian."

"Oh, I see. So you mean you've done this several times?"

"Of course. More often than not, I was doing it to older women. But there were also a few gays and they all said I was good."

"That explains why you're so skilled at it. (Just what kind training did this kid really have?)"

'…_His General is worse than mine.' _The samurai felt a split second of pity for the younger boy. And that was it, a split second.

"Oww…" Kanda can hint that Lavi's voice was had become muffled.

"Are you biting your lip? Oh no, you're not going to cry, are you?"

"Sh-Shut up! I'm not going to cry just because of this. If girls can take it, so can I!"

"That's good to hear."

"Owowow! S-Stop pulling so hard!"

"I'm sorry. I'll just try to do it more lightly. There. Is that okay with you?"

"I guess…"

"I'm almost done." Kanda heard a little shuffling sound from inside.

"Wait. No…No way! You're not really going to use that on me, are you?! "

"Stop struggling, Lavi. It would be just fine."

"Ah! Nooo!!! Let me go! No! Wait! Don't!!! Stop!!!"

Kanda can't take it anymore. He just wanted to know what the hell was really happening inside and what made Lavi panic like that. So, without any hesitation, the normally stoic teen pulled the door open with force. And behold! What he saw was unexpected; the two younger boys were on the floor. Allen was on top of Lavi (who was still struggling) and he was trying to tie a frilly, pink ribbon to Lavi's hair which was now tied in a rather complicated way. Lavi then noticed his 'best friend' standing there with an unreadable expression.

"Yuu! You're back! Thank goodness! Please help me!!!" The red-head begged of the long-haired teen. But Kanda couldn't move an inch. He felt his brain shut down the moment he saw what the two were actually doing, although he wasn't sure whether it was due to shock or relief.

"Yuu?" Lavi took note of his friend's unresponsiveness.

"What's the matter, Kanda?" Allen asked not because he was concerned but for the sake of being polite. Then Lavi, seemingly forgetting his situation, cracked a joke.

"Uh-huh! I know! You want to get your hair tied by Allen, too, right, Yuu?" Lavi grinned up at the stupefied teen.

Kanda still stood there with no reaction whatsoever. He could only stare into nothing. His brain couldn't take the shock he just experienced. There he was thinking that the two were actually doing _something _while in fact, Allen was only _tying Lavi's messy hair._

The poor young man couldn't take the shock any longer. His eyes rolled back into his head and he fell down with a loud THUD! Lavi became alarmed and quickly pushed Allen off and ran to Yuu's side. Allen quickly followed wondering what was wrong with the other exorcist.

"Yuu! Yuu! C'mon! Wake up! Get a hold of yourself!" Lavi shouted and frantically shook Kanda to try and wake him. The rd-head even tried slapping him but Kanda remained unconscious. Lavi then turned to Allen. "Did we do something that made him like this?" The Bookman heir looked inquisitively at the cursed boy.

"Who knows?" Allen shrugged. "Maybe he was so amazed at my skill with fixing hairs that he just fainted." The white-haired boy proclaimed with pride.

"Well, we don't know about that. Anyway, let's just get him to the infirmary." Lavi proceeded to remove the several braids and clips that Allen had placed in his hair. He can't possibly walk around the Order with those things.

"Ah! Why did you remove it?!?! I made it so carefully and it looked so nice, too! What a waste." Allen made a mock sad face.

"Give me a break, Allen. Do you really think I'll go outside my room with my hair tied like that?" Lavi looked at Allen wearily. His companion nodded his head enthusiastically as a response to his rhetorical question. The green-eyed Bookman just sweat-dropped and gave a sigh as he held his head. Deciding it would be better, Lavi just ignored the other's answer and said, "Let's just get Yuu to the infirmary, okay? And not 'you', I mean 'Yuu'. Help me put him on my back"

Allen picked Kanda up and placed him on Lavi's back. After that, the three of them went on their way to the infirmary with a few people looking at them wondering why Kanda was unconscious or why Lavi was giving him a piggy-back ride. But either way, the trio continued. When they finally reached their destination, Lavi gently laid Kanda on one of the beds as the head nurse instructed. He and Allen were told that the Japanese exorcist was fine but quite tired and needed some rest. So, they left Yuu there to give him the sleep he needed. But what they didn't know, what Kanda was having was far from rest, because in his sleep, he was haunted by nightmares, nightmares that consisted of a particular cursed exorcist and a certain eye-patched Bookman.

And ever since that day, Kanda Yuu learned three new things. 1) Avoid eavesdropping on conversations of other people. 2) Never to let Allen touch his hair (or else it would be tied up like Lavi's).

And last but not the least, Kanda discovered just how perverted he actually is.

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Author's notes: Sorry if I made Kanda quite OOC. I couldn't help it! This fic just appeared in my head a few days ago and I felt the need to write it. Also, sorry for making hair-tying sound so complicated and painful. Please feel free to give any concrit or comment you have!

About Allen's line:_' More often than not, I was doing it to older women. But there were also a few gays and they all said I was good' _Allen meant that he fixed older women's hair. Sometimes, gays with long hair would let him do their hairs, too. Plus, he always did a good job.


End file.
